I have been spending a lot of time pumping at work. Fortunately there's an extra office where I can go and lock the door. I've only been walked in on once so I guess that's ok :) Since I've been back the amount I've been pumping has steadily dropped off. I was pumping like 12 oz when I came back each day and now it's more like 8 if things go well but there's always something going on. Yesterday I forgot my bra that holds the pump in place so I can do other things so I had to sit there and hold it- not entertaining! Plus they needed the office in the afternoon for an auditor. So I got 5 oz.....Daniel drank 15 yesterday so I had to send 2 bottles of formula along with my piddly 5 oz of breastmilk. I've been really discouraged, but at the same time I'm not ready to give up. So I keep pumping.....
I'm finding myself being incredibly envious of my friends and their ability to pump or nurse enough or even have extra so they can freeze it. I feel like I'm having to jump through a million hoops just to feed this kid. I love him more than anything and it really irks me that despite doing everything right, it's still not working for me! Not only that but my kid is skinny! I'm trying one last thing- a medication that's supposed to help increase breast-milk supply. This was a suggestion from my Dr. who I also saw Friday. It does have the side effect of causing depression so Jesse and I are going to be watching very closely to make sure I don't slip into a funk. I'm praying it works but I'm not sure I want to or can keep breastfeeding if this doesn't work. So I'm just going to say it...I have Boobie Envy....I want to be able to make more milk.
So here's a funny- just because I'm not sure what to do but laugh at this point.....
1 comment:
Jess,
I didn't pump enough for JT and had to supplement with formula when he was at daycare. Don't feel like a failure it is just the way that it is. I nurses him until he was 11 months old and only stopped b/c I got pregnant and dried up. He was also "underweight". I think that it is a crock of shit (excuse my language). If Daniel is happy and he looks good, which he does from the pictures then you are doing fantastic. He just doesn't fit the charts. JT was really tall but was normal weight for his age. He is a happy kid now and is healthy. Don't worry about it and use your judgement. I have yet to understand why they want fat babies and then get mad at you for having overweight children. It is hard to pump. It is my least favorite thing to do but it is worth it and even 5 oz is better than nothing. You can only do what you can. I have had friends that pumped in a broom closet. So it could be worse :) If you need encouragement, I am right there with you and you can do it!
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