Mother's day was yesterday and we didn't do anything really. We had dinner with my Dad and Step-Mom Saturday night but other than that it was a fairly chill weekend. I had sort of mixed emotions as I really do love my mother but I don't really like her that much so I gathered myself up enough to get a card and get it mailed to her eariler in the week. I had to look really hard for one that didn't say something I didn't think or mean. I have mixed feelings about what it means to be a mother. I know it's possible for someone to be a good mother but it's not a natural thing to me.
My parents saw this movie over the weekend called "Babies" which was apparently the view of four different babies on four different continents in the style of a nature video. They spent quite a long time talking about this movie and I sorta started to get it. In their not-so-subtle way they are ready for grandchildren.
Today at work I was making polite conversation with the receptionist who has two small children. I asked her how her Mother's Day was and she said fine. The very next sentance was "When are you going to have kids?"
Here's the rant....why is it anyone's business?? More importantly do they know it makes me feel about an inch tall when they reduce me to my ability to have children? I want kids and I want so much to experience the love I've heard that people (normal people anyway) have for their kids. I just don't want to bring that up in polite coversation. I'm not really sure why but this is sort of a hot button for me. I am trying on my own to trust that God is going to take care of me and have us be pregnant when He wants us to be. It's not helpful to have people fire off that question just to make conversation....can we please just talk about the weather?
