Ok so some posts are sentimental and emotional but this probably won't be one of them :) If a year and a half ago someone had told me I'd be leaving my desk at work every two to three hours to go to another office, take off my shirt and attach a rather angry sounding machine too my boobs I'd have thought they were nuts! Furthermore to be doing this every day for five days a week and being totally concerned about the output from my boobs, enough so that I break into tears at random, try multiple different supplements and am basically dreaming of overflowing bottles.....I have officially gone crazy.
So in case you haven't guessed Breastfeeding and returning to work have been a challenge. I would rather do just about anything but pump but I don't want to give up on it just quite yet. Like any parent I really want the very best for Daniel but I'm growing tired of not feeling like I'm good enough on a daily basis. My husband is trying to convince me that my milk output has nothing to do with the quality of mother that I am but I'm struggling pretty hard with that because it is about the only thing I can do for him while I'm at work and I'm frustrated that it's not going well. At what point do I give up the ghost- I'm struggling with it because I don't want to give up the morning feedings and evening feedings where I feel like I'm really connected to him. I'm not sure it would really bug him either way as long as I held him each day but up until now it's been something that I and I alone could do and it made me feel special.
Just some thoughts rolling around in my head as I listen to the pump a.k.a. "The Angry Duck".
1 comment:
You are good enough, I promise, whether or not you pump at work. You can continue to nurse in mornings and evenings, and if you decide to move to formula part-time (or full-time) you'll still be a good mom. Having a natural birth, or breastfeeding or co-sleeping...none of those things make a good mother. A mother is good because she cares about her child and you have that.
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